“I’m like the happiest and healthiest I’ve ever been in my life,” Underwood said.
Former “Bachelor” star Colton Underwood announced he’s gay in a filmed interview with “Good Morning America” anchor Robin Roberts on Wednesday.
“I ran far from myself, I despised myself for a long time. And I’m gay, and I came up with that earlier this year, and I’ve been processing it, and the next step in all this was to let people know, “Underwood, 29, told Roberts.
“I’m still anxious, but… it was a sure trip,” he said.
Roberts remarked, “I see the joy through the nerves, I see the relief.”
“I’m emotional but emotional in such a healthy, happy, optimistic way,” Underwood replied. “I’m like the happiest and healthiest I’ve ever been in my life, and I mean the world.”
“I’m proud to be gay,” Underwood said later.
Underwood, a former football player, was first introduced in 2018 as a contestant on Becca Kufrin’s “Bachelorette” season. He then joined the “Bachelor In Paradise” cast in Season 5, before becoming “Bachelor” for his 23rd season in 2019.
He had a relationship with a contestant he met that season, Cassie Randolph.
Randolph filed a restraining order after they broke up last year, accusing Underwood of stalking and threatening her, and filed a police report claiming he’d put a tracking device on her car. Later, Randolph was fired and asked to drop the police investigation.
“Sorry about how things started,” Underwood said. “I’ve fucked up. I made many poor decisions. “
Underwood said he just loved Randolph to make his sexuality more confusing.
“If I’m really frank, um, I loved everything about her and it’s hard for me to explain exactly what my feelings were in that relationship with her because I clearly had an internal battle going on.”
“I think I should have done it better,” he said of his franchise tenure. “I wish I hadn’t pulled people into my own mess to see who I was.”
“At the same time, I can sit here and say I’m sorry for all those ladies. I can also say thank you because without them and without the ‘Bachelor’ franchise, I don’t know if it will ever come out.”
Underwood was highly promoted as “The Virgin Bachelor,” and during his season his virginity was a huge storyline—something he later told Variety he felt was “overblown,” but not inherently manipulated.
Underwood has started to talk about his virginity and sexuality since becoming the “Bachelor.” In last year’s Entertainment Tonight interview, he said “The Bachelor” made him understand he wasn’t gay after grappling with his sexuality. And in a book, he released in 2020, “The First Time: Finding Myself and Looking for Love on Reality TV,” he admitted that growing up would challenge whether he was gay as a virgin or a soccer player.
“One thing about being called ‘The Virgin Bachelor’ is I was a virgin before, and I could never give anyone a good enough response to why I was a virgin. The fact is, I was a virgin bachelor because I was gay and couldn’t handle it, “Underwood told Roberts.
Underwood was a tight end at Illinois State, signed as a free agent by the San Diego Chargers in 2014, and was on the Oakland Raiders and the Eagles practice squad.
“I literally recall praying to God the moment I found out I was the bachelor and thanking him for making me clear,” Underwood said in Wednesday’s interview. “I remember vividly saying, ‘Finally, you let me be straight, finally, you give me a wife, a fiancée.’
He claimed that his Catholic upbringing and athletic background helped him conceal his sexuality, despite the fact that he discovered he was gay in his freshman year of high school.
But Underwood said he’s closer than ever to God.
“And I also know that, as a gay guy, people would be like ‘how is that possible?'”
“I used to wake up in the morning praying for the gay to be taken away,” Underwood explained.”Wake up now and pray to God, and I can really have faith, and I can go to church and be present and not be conditional on taking this off my plate.”
GLAAD’s Head of Talent, Anthony Allen Ramos, said in a statement: “Every LGBTQ person’s path to discovering and embracing their authentic selves is different, and Colton Underwood’s decision to share his truth with the public shows us that there’s no set timetable to come out.”
“Given Colton’s vast and devoted fandom of ‘The Bachelor,’ his coming out and discussion of his religion will hopefully open the eyes of millions of proud LGBTQ people who are also people of faith,” Ramos said.
When asked whether Underwood had considered hurting himself during his struggle, he said he had.
“Yeah, there was a moment in L.A. I woke up and I didn’t think I’d wake up, I didn’t want to wake up. And beyond that, it’s like even suicidal thoughts, driving my car near a cliff, even if it goes off the edge, it’s not that big deal, “Underwood said. “I don’t notice it anymore.”
He said he had “a lot of answers” from the people he came to, but “the most popular one was, ‘I wish you’d have told me sooner,’ and when I heard that, I wish I had some more confidence in my friends and family.”
He said his father understood overwhelmingly.
“I’m only sitting with you today because I have the love and support of my friends and family,” Underwood said.
Colton said he hadn’t developed a man’s emotional bond before.
“I’ve never allowed myself to go there, and it’s never been on my cards… More than anything, I want to, “he said. “I’m looking for someone who can challenge me in all the great ways.”
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