You might get a USB cable in a package, but that doesn’t mean you should put it inside your package, i.e. your penis.A new case report published in the journal Urology Case Reports may make you cringe if you have a penis or are sympathetic to any penises. A team from University College Hospital in London, UK (Ioannis Loufopoulos, Konstantinos Kapriniotis, Clio Kennedy, Sabareen Huq, Thomas Reid, and Ashwin Sridhar) detailed what happened to a 15-year-old boy who decided to insert a USB cable into his urethra, the opening of his penis, for the case report.
Although the acronym USB stands for Universal Serial Bus, and the word “universal” appears to imply “everywhere,” there are some restrictions on where a USB cable should be used. It should not, for example, be used in spaghetti. Instead, USB cables are commonly used to connect computers to peripheral devices like cameras, printers, scanners, and storage devices. Please keep in mind that your penis is not included in this list. In general, your penis, no matter what you call it, does not qualify as a peripheral device.
Your penis is not something that can be easily removed and attached to different things. Regardless, the saga described in the case report began when the teen decided to insert the USB cable through his urethra into his penis.
Rather than a response like “naturally” or “of course, he did,” such a statement now usually elicits a follow-up question, such as “why the heck did he do that?” The teen eventually confessed to doctors that he did it “to measure the length of his penis as a result of sexual curiosity.” But let’s not get too far ahead of ourselves. Instead, a rigid cystoscope was inserted into his urethra. A urethral scope with a blade or laser can help loosen and remove the cable by cutting away tissue inside the urethra. While the words “blade,” “laser,” or “cut” next to the words “urethra” and “penis” may appear invasive, it is actually the least invasive way of dealing with a urethra problem.
However, due to a knot in the USB cable, this procedure was unable to remove the cable. As a result, the patient was transferred to a department at University College Hospital with more experience and expertise.
The adolescent requested that he be examined without his mother present. After all, this isn’t your typical mother-son conversation. The adolescent then described everything that had happened to the doctors who wrote the case report. There was no evidence of any pre-existing physical or mental health issues, according to the doctors.According to the case report, the doctors then used cheek X-rays to confirm “the exact position and shape of the formatted knot, and the patient was transferred to the theatre.” The term “theatre” here meant “operating room,” not “movie theatre” or “Broadway-style theatre.”
This would not have been the appropriate time to watch The Phantom of the Opera.Surgeons in the operating room made an incision into his penis, discovered that the cable had been cut in two segments, and then removed both segments. After stitching up his urethra and penis, the surgeons inserted catheters to allow urine to bypass the affected area while it healed. Doctors checked the area two weeks later, found no leakage or excessive scar tissue, and removed the catheters. Aside from “ooooooouuuch!!!!,” there are numerous reasons why you should avoid putting anything near or into your urethra.
Bacteria and other pathogens that can cause serious infections can be introduced. You can cause damage to the inside of the urethra, resulting in narrowing or urethral structures that block urine passage. You could puncture the urethra or even the bladder, resulting in a surgical emergency. Oh, and if all of these other issues aren’t enough to worry you, you can harm your ability to have an erection.
Putting any computer equipment or accessories into your body is a bad idea in general. Sure, they don’t have warnings on their packages like “do not use on your penis.”
Similarly, there are no warning labels on your penis. Nonetheless, keep such equipment away from yours. A USB Wi-Fi stick may be referred to as a dongle, but that does not imply that a USB cable should be plugged into your… well, you get the picture.
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