Jessi Ngatikaura Pushes Back Against Gendered Hate in The Secret Lives of Mormon Wives
Reality star Jessi Ngatikaura speaks out after trolls attack her appearance, opens up about trauma, therapy, and learning to live on her own terms in Season 3.

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Los Angeles, July 4 EST: Jessi Ngatikaura, one of the most talked-about stars on The Secret Lives of Mormon Wives, is clapping back — not with drama, but with raw honesty. After catching a wave of toxic comments accusing her of looking “masculine” or “more transgender,” Jessi took to Instagram Stories to set the record straight.
“Just a gentle reminder that it’s never OK to comment on a woman’s post, ‘You’re looking more transgender by the day,’ or ‘Your features are so masculine,’” she wrote. “I’m feeling very emo today and want to never post again so thank you trolls.”
No filter. No PR polish. Just a 33-year-old mom of two trying to show up for herself — while the internet picks apart her jawline.
This Isn’t About Vanity — It’s About Trauma
If you think Jessi’s pushback is about defending a selfie, you’re missing the bigger picture. The backlash she’s addressing goes beyond bad lighting or filter choices.
She’s spoken candidly about undergoing TMJ surgery, which altered her facial structure — but even that hasn’t slowed the flood of criticism about her appearance. And yes, she’s had cosmetic work done too, like a Weir excision (that’s nostril-narrowing, for the uninitiated), but not as a vanity project — more as a coping mechanism for insecurities long in the making.
“I’m in therapy,” she shared, adding she’s currently working through childhood trauma and deep-rooted self-worth issues. The body shaming? The gender jabs? It’s not just hurtful — it’s retraumatizing.
“You never know what people are going through,” she said in a follow-up Story. “And it ruins someone’s day. Don’t do that.”
Reality TV Fame Comes with a Side of Misogyny
Let’s be real: Jessi isn’t the only cast member facing heat online — but she says it feels like she takes the hardest hits, especially when it comes to aging, aesthetics, and gender-coded insults.
She’s noticed the pattern. “Some of the other women get away with a lot more,” she hinted last season. “I breathe and get dragged for it.”
That’s the subtext behind this latest wave of clapbacks. It’s not just about looking “too this” or “not enough that” — it’s about how we code femininity, and who we give permission to evolve in public.
Fans Can Expect More of Jessi in Season 3 — the Real Her
The Secret Lives of Mormon Wives is heading into its third season on a high-stakes note, with marital tension, family blowups, and long-simmering secrets all reportedly in play. But Jessi’s storyline? It’s personal.
According to Entertainment Weekly, Season 3 will dive deeper into her backstory — including her ongoing struggles with identity, image, and online criticism. She’s not running from the narrative. If anything, she’s steering straight into it.
And yeah, she’s aware the internet isn’t always kind to reality stars who show too much realness. But she’s hoping the experience — like her skin — will thicken over time.
Why It Matters
Reality TV gives viewers the illusion of access, and Jessi knows that better than most. But there’s a difference between watching someone live their truth and using that access as an excuse to rip them apart.
By calling out gendered hate, Jessi isn’t just defending herself — she’s challenging the entire ecosystem of Instagram armchair critics, Reddit threads, and comment-section snark that too often gets a free pass.
She’s not asking to be liked. She’s asking to be seen — as a woman, a mother, and yes, a reality star — on her own terms.
And if Season 3 delivers what we think it will, Jessi won’t just be a character in a reality saga. She’ll be a reminder that real life doesn’t come with beauty filters or mute buttons — and neither should our empathy.
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